The HockeySport Podcast

Quebec City's Saltiest Lake

Welcome to The HockeySport Podcast first and hopefully last playoff predictions episode! Win your hockey pool, impress your friends and re-mortgage your condo (I did!) on these can't miss prognostications.  We go through ever team in the NHL's 242nd annual "Tournament for that Sweet Bowl®".

We've travelled from the Salty Lakes of Quebec City to the vast water-starved deserts of Scottsdale Arizona to thumb the pulse of the hockey world. So join us as we dissect:

• The new, better, more fuckable Ryan Smith
• Quebecers rejoice, your team has returned!
• Scratch that, the Mormons called dibs, sorry Quebec
• Joson Robertson, local hero
• (Boston sucks)
• And introducing the Banff BANFF, and their mascot THE BANFF

And one or two more things maybe. I dunno

Kessel Watch: Live from the Abbotsford International Airport

The HockeySport Podcast is broadcasting LIVE from YXX, gate 23a. Be there with us at the exact moment that Phil Kessel touches down into Canuck land and hear what hockey's greatest Phil-ride thinks of about the jewel of the Fraser Valley!

We've got wall-to-wall coverage of everything PHIL! Plus, the in-depth and totally not-deranged coverage of the hockey world you've come to expect.

This episode, we'll be deep diving into:

• BC's weed-fueled super-youngsters
• How to fix the Columbus Blue Jackets with only minimal scaldings
• The definitive word on the #Freetheskate initiative. We promise
• A Mike Modano story that is timely and very relevant
• AND... The shocking proof the Quinn Hughes is in fact, super Canadian

So save up your 2042 first round picks, because this is a podcast that won't take the inevitable swallowing up of coastal North America by climate induced sea-level-rise for an answer!

If you're hearing this, the Oilers suck again

Welcome to the HockeySport Podcast All-star weekend extravaganza! We're are the only podcast that isn't broadcasting from Toronto, because we made a promise to our listens and we keep our word.

This episode, we unpack the most important stories in hockey, nay, the world! So join us as we discuss the new all-star skills format, the PWHL's flagrant east-coast bias, and a million more stories directly pandering to you, the best fans in the world.

And, don't miss our endless Fan-Votes!

 

Note: this episode must be listened to only once the Oilers win streak is over. Hide it away and uncork it when joy is back in the world and the birds once again sing. It's the only way out of this hell.

 

Celebrating Hockey Gives Cancer Night

Brought to you in league-mandated adherence to board of governors’ adopted corporate values, it's the HockeySport Podcast!

In this heavily redacted episode, your loyal hosts will be covering all the biggest stories of the 2023-24 NHL regular season. And for the first time ever, this episode is 100% guaranteed to not stand for or believe in anything. No causes, no special jerseys and certainly no acts of dissent against the all powerful authority of the NHL!

So buckle in for league approved stories, including:

• The utopic post-racism society that the NHL has created through a mere pinch Orwellian doublethink
• The Oilers 100% definite and fully deserved path from last place to Stanley Cup glory
• The annual rounding up and quartering of the cowards and traitors
• Jim Rutherford and Patrik Allvin clapping bombs and breaking knees
• with special guest, the unnamed threatening muscle of the National Hockey League!

The ”Welcome New Fans” Symposium 2023

Thank you for attending our First Annual "Welcome New Fans Symposium". It's so great to see new fans from Las Vegas, Raleigh, Dallas, and Sunrise who have made the trip. The NHL is so so so very happy you're here and ready to become Hockey's newest super fans!

Don't forget to wear your I.D. badges and we'd like to kindly remind our friends from Vegas either lay of that Sweet Nevada Cactus or at least pass that shit around.

This symposium will cover all the hottest stories that a fresh-faced new fan needs to know, including:

• Does the Stanley Cup really exist?
• Should we ever talk about Bedard again or is he dead to us?
• The Top 7 most dastardly plans by the NHL's resident super villain, Alex Pietrangelo
• 5 Tech tips for Refs struggling to get back to their home screen on their iPads
• And, due to a clerical error, we completely forgot to talk about the Maple Leafs, so don't tune in for that if that's what your looking for.

gary.bettman69@gmail.ca

This is your chance to join the HockeySport Podcast's various letter writing campaigns to fix the NHL one tea stained parchment at a time.

In this, our 39th episode spectacular, we'll be sending handwritten, tear stained notes to all your favourite stars, including:

• Gary Bettman (and anyone with the name or email Gary Bettman)
• Ryan Reynolds, owner of the sooner to be re-relocated Ottawa Canucks (Trust us this will work)
• Blake Lively
• Future Connor Bedard teammate Rasmus Andersson
• Bo Horvat (MLS^® Number: R2754679)
• The Boston Bruins' Mascot "The Villain"
• 2011 Conn Smyth Winner Raffi Torres

I’ve said Jimothy Timothy Miller so many times the words have lost all meaning

The HockeySport Podcast is proud to present the world's first hockey podcast written entirely by Chat_DMT.

This episode we tackle all the latest issues in the hockey world and all of the hockey world that we're late to tackle.

Including:

• "The Rise and Fall of the Third Atlanta Franchise"
• "The Vancouver Canucks; history's worst built tank"
• "The Staal Brothers: famously against dudes in pairs"
• "Key regular season's statistics that will matter in the playoffs. (Hint: there are none)"
• "What did we all do deserve this Bruins team?"

Plus, one lucky listener will win a .zip file or e-transfer of all our unreleased, unrecorded episodes! So, come break on through with us on a wild recap of the hockey world that is sure to give you acid flashbacks for years to come.

Boiled Hotdogs, Milk in Bags, and T3 Lines

What's the secret to eternal life? Boiled Hotdogs, Milk in Bags, and T3 lines. At least that's according to the fittest and most everlasting NHL players.

Join us for our senior citizen special, dedicated to the immortal and still kicking-ass Steve Wochy, who's 99 years young! 

On this episode of the HockeySport Podcast, we've got health tips from Chara, Marchand, Kessel and all the other players that are going to somehow outlive you. We dive into the NHL Trade Deadline, The Calgary Flames unlikely mascot (who isn't a human torch) and the Arizona Coyotes new home at the Arizona State University Library's Applebee's!

Plus the Olympics happened, finally answering the age old question of "if a tree falls in the woods but it doesn't have NHL players, does it make a sound".

Plus, we might mention the Canucks once or constantly!

Enjoy. 

 

Faking Your Death to Play in the Olympics: A Players Guide

Are you an NHL player bummed to be missing your chance at Olympic glory? Follow our easy step-by-step guide to joining your brethren on Team Canada and bringing home the Gold. And all you have to do is be dead for a little while!

Plus 6 other brilliant options for deceiving the NHL that will leave Gary Bettman scratching his head while your biting on gold (cause they do that for some reason).

Plus we dive deep into the world of HockeySport, with thrilling, clickable, flavor-packed stories, including:

"The New York Islanders: Better or Worse than the dumpster fire 2012 LA Kings?"

"Are the Oilers Copying the Flames by Copying the Canucks?"

"7 nice compliments for the 7 shittiest, most embarrassing,  laughing-stock teams in the NHL"

"Expectations soar! The Canucks five-peat could become a seven-peat"

And so so much more more!

 

 

Emergency Pod: Jim Benning Wasn‘t Really Fired

When there's shocking breaking news in the world of the Canucks, we're there to bring you all the details.

When that shocking breaking news turn out to be a load of progandic bollocks, you better believe we'll be the only one's bringing you the truth.

Don't believe your eyes or your ears, Jim Benning is still the GM of the Vancouver Canucks.

In this *emergency pod*, we're covering all the ups and downs in the craziest week in Canuck, nay, NHL history.

Bruce Boudreau (sp?) is in, Travis Green is out. Jim Benning is out, but still controlling everything from a shadowy realm no other journalsportists dare to tread. 

Join us if you dare.