The HockeySport Podcast

Are you an NHL player bummed to be missing your chance at Olympic glory? Follow our easy step-by-step guide to joining your brethren on Team Canada and bringing home the Gold. And all you have to do is be dead for a little while!

Plus 6 other brilliant options for deceiving the NHL that will leave Gary Bettman scratching his head while your biting on gold (cause they do that for some reason).

Plus we dive deep into the world of HockeySport, with thrilling, clickable, flavor-packed stories, including:

"The New York Islanders: Better or Worse than the dumpster fire 2012 LA Kings?"

"Are the Oilers Copying the Flames by Copying the Canucks?"

"7 nice compliments for the 7 shittiest, most embarrassing,  laughing-stock teams in the NHL"

"Expectations soar! The Canucks five-peat could become a seven-peat"

And so so much more more!

 

 

When there's shocking breaking news in the world of the Canucks, we're there to bring you all the details.

When that shocking breaking news turn out to be a load of progandic bollocks, you better believe we'll be the only one's bringing you the truth.

Don't believe your eyes or your ears, Jim Benning is still the GM of the Vancouver Canucks.

In this *emergency pod*, we're covering all the ups and downs in the craziest week in Canuck, nay, NHL history.

Bruce Boudreau (sp?) is in, Travis Green is out. Jim Benning is out, but still controlling everything from a shadowy realm no other journalsportists dare to tread. 

Join us if you dare.

Join us for our least stressful episode yet! How could you possibly be stressed about the 2021-22 NHL season when you have our assurances that the Canucks will and in some sense already have brought home the Stanley cup.

So Relax.
Don't stress.
Close your eyes.
Breath in, buy out.
Breath in, buy out.

It's all going to work out. The Canucks will win the Cup this year. Give in to the Borg Amalgamation that is the Columbus Blue Jackets. Follow your Captain Phillip Kessel.  Fear not the Con-air Mc-David, who has certainly peaked. Think not of the Lightning, for they have been relegated. Stress not about the Kraken, for they have been moved to Honolulu. The Canuck five-peat starts now. Chant with us:

Oliverekmanlarsson. Oliverekmanlarsson.

Grab a Danish and enjoy our newest episode.

You ask, we deliver - it’s our Fantasy Playoff Preview!

The number one question we get, (besides where can I buy what you two are smoking?) is “what are your fantasy hockey predictions??

Well hold onto you beards, it’s finally happening. Everything you need to know about the world of Fantasy hockey. And what a strange mythical world it is.

Saddle-up and join us as we go series by series and discuss:

• How will the Avalanche get past Jason Biggington and The Blues?
• What’s the over-under of Marchand-Chara licks per 60?
• Can any amount of trained Panthers stop and back-from-the-dead Kucherov?
• Top 3 films from Sean Avery’s new and thriving porn company.

And to top it off, a breakdown of the North division so in-depth you’ll be frozen solid with ice cold Canadian hockey knowledge. Stay tuned!

With the playoffs right around the corner, we've got the full rundown of everything you need to know about all the playoff teams.

You heard right, we're not going to talk about the Canucks.

No sir.

We've really branched out.

Full coverage!

We promise.

Okay, maybe a little about the Canucks.

But then it's straight into the team fighting for Lord Stanley's mug!

That's all we care about and we're bringing it right to you.

All eyes on the playoff teams.

Full steam ahead!

Islanders. Wild. Hurricanes.

Yessir. 

We're dying to talk about the #Canes.

Try and stop us! Full playoff coverage or your money back!

Brace yourselves for too much information about the Canes.

You ever heard of Teuvo Teräväinen? Cause we sure have.

You're going to be screaming "please stop saying such interesting things about Teuvo Teräväinen".

But we won't stop.

We're that commited.

You're welcome.

 

But first up Canucks vs. Flames

Breaking down all your favourite traitors, it's our trade deadline, totally-not-belated special. And we can guarantee this year's tradepocalypse deadline special has %50 less trades and %50 more %50 retained salaries!

Join us as we finally determine which team found that crucial missing piece on their way to Stanley Cup glory. Could it be:

• Anthony Mantha to the Florida Manthers
• Erik Good-trade-son showing that he can still bring that 7th round magic
• Adam Gaudette giving everyone BC Bud lover plenty of reasons to get highmore
• San Jose poised to bring the cup the Cayman Islands for the first time
• and the Toronto Maple Leafs falling horribly short in the coveted Ben-Hutton-sweep-stakes

They tell us every year that this is the trade deadline, and yet every year, here we are. Now pray to god with us that this is our last trade deadline episode. For Gaudette's sake. End it.

For the first time ever, we are broadcasting live during both the Canucks’ offseason and the trade deadline.  Every Canucks fans’ two favourite times of year happening at once! And just because it’s been a busy deadline with rumours flying everywhere doesn’t mean we’re not going shut everything the fuck down.

We’re covering all the biggest stories on Canada’s 3^rd favourite holiday, the trade deadline. Stay tuned for hard hitting stories, such as:

• The Flames core-swap and stylish new toupee
• Why does Taylor Hall like losing so much?
• The Leafs seeking their team's first ever Stanley Cup
• Waves of uncontrollable panic
• The return of the 2011 Canucks

And a friendly reminder that the Canucks are done. The Franchise is over. The league is going to fold. Nothing matters. Enjoy the episode!

With rampant crime at an all-time high in the NHL, the HockeySport Podcast is the long hard slew-foot of the law this league desperately needs. Join us as we bring the biggest criminals in the NHL to justice, busting wide open huge cases including:

• The Binnington Attempted Murders
• The Sutter Gene Cloning Scandal
• The Sidney Crosby Ponzi Scheme
• The Numerous bizarre criminal acts of the Florida Men on the Panthers and Lightning
• The Blackhawks Breaking and Entering the Playoff Race
• The Buffalo Sabres missing person case

It’s our crime … and subsequent possible punishment special!

And as always, Jake Virtanen! Because he’s ALWAYS been here.  And, as you know, all work and no play makes Jake an untradable apparition doomed to haunt the Canucks for eternity.

Wait! Wait! Don’t unsubscribe! Hear us out. We may just be the Canucks last hope.

Join us in the latest episode of the HockeySport Podcast as we go full villain in a last ditch effort to restore balance in the HockeySport universe.

Heroically broadcasting amidst devastating Canuck disappointment and autocratic assassination attempts, the HockeySport Hosts are back to discuss the most contentious NHL season in recorded history. Get up to date in the world of HockeySport with these daring acts of JournalSport, including:

• Which dictator’s kill lists are we on now
• Adding up Jake Virtanen’s No. 5 Orange bar tab
• Reviewing Vancouver's newest radio station: 1040 Traffic
• The best hockey inspired dishes to serve at the parties you better not be having right now
• Completely skipping over the Laine-Dubois trade
• More rehashing of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final
• The Seattle Kraken’s Leaked New Mascot: “Big Red Salmon the Big Red Salmon”

All this, and maybe one or two other good segments, but even that’s generous, let’s be honest.

Welcome to the new and improved Dupont Chemicals™ HockeySport Podcast, presented by our benevolent sponsor Dupont Chemicals™. All the insightful and groundbreaking hockey coverage, now pest and weed resistant!

Broadcasting from a remote undisclosed location in the New Scotia North™ Division, the HockeySport team is back for Season 4 of our medical mal-practice award winning series.

Join Dan and Steve as the voyage into the strange and unknown world of Pandemic Regular Season Hockey, diving into the most unsterilized stories gripping the hockeysport world, including:

• What’s in Evander Kane’s taxes?
• Which Canadian Team’s roster will ascend to political office by the end of the season?
• Why is Buffalo taking a year off and setting up a home dartboard?
• How does Joe Thornton even wear a mask?

Plus, say hello to this week’s guest, Dallas Star Captain Jamie Benn.