The HockeySport Podcast

#14: Here In The Kaapo Kakkocabana

Prepare yourself for the first episode of the HockeySport Podcast presented in glorious 2D. That‘s twice the dimensions for the price of none! Join the team on this visual spectacular and help us dig through the twisted carnage of this NHL HockeySport Postseason.

The season has is first set of casualties, and it’s time to deliver the Eulogy and hang the gravestones in the rafters for the teams we lost this season.

Plus, exclusive exposés on why the cup needs to get taller, our picks for our March Madness Elementary School bracket, and how GM’s can motivate their player by ransoming family members. All brought to you, as always, with extreme prejudice.

With special guest, broadcasting legend Bob Cole.

#13: Fallout from the Tradepocalypse

Despite their best efforts, the HSP hosts avoided being dealt at the trade deadline and are back in an episode that critics have called “formless”, “Inaccurate” and “a textbook example of the failings of the Canadian public school system”. So buckle up and waive your no-trade clause as we hit the NOS on this Zamboni in our first ever episode with no backsies, no warranties and NO RULES.

We dive in, team by team, hitting the biggest stories of the post-tradedeadline world, including: Is Ottawa putting together a perfect (tank) season, why do players always break the day after their warrantee expires, and is Edmonton finally not funny?

Plus, don’t forget to sketch us to win.  The most flattering portrait wins stickers!

#12: Blood Thirsty Buffa-lo Riders

#12: Blood Thirsty Buffa-lo Riders

Broadcasting live from Ulrich’s Tavern in beautiful lakeside Buffalo, New York, The HockeySport Podcast present our sexiest, nerdiest, Buffaloest episode ever. Proving once and for all that we are not, and have never been, fully-toothed bandwagon riders, this episode is jam packed with everything huge Buffalo Sabres fans like ourselves could want.

So join us as we present a total of *REDACTED* incredible Zamboni stories, our exclusive expose of Sex, Drugs and Rockn’Roll in the NHL and a thorough yet uncalled-for verbal tour of the Florence of Erie County: Buffalo, New York.

Plus, premium listeners will now have exclusive access to the full HockeySport experience; with all the footage we normally edit out, including stuttering, belching and instantly regretted utterances.

#11: The KHL Nordiques

With the legacy of the NHL in ever-growing turmoil and the future uncertain, hosts Dan and Steve lay out their succession plans for the future heirs to the HockeySport Podcast and set out a surefire plan for Canada’s Manifest Hockey Destiny, starting with a KHL team in Quebec City and a Canadian Teams in Detroit, Minnesota and Glendale, Arizona.

However, no legacy can ever be secure while at least five of Gary Bettman’s Horcruxes remain at large and un-destroyed. But never fear, as we enter the 11^th installment into our 1700 part HockeySport series, anything could happen (except Luongo winning the cup, which is expressly forbidden).

So sit back and mail us your BOO signs as we unveil an exclusive clip from the hot new TV show, ‘Jeers: The Gary Bettman Sitcom”

#10: You can’t spell hockey without Anunnaki Lizard Players

Recently hailed as the Nostradam-ICE of the HockeySport world, our hosts Daniel Doheny and Stephen Morgan will take you through all the stories that the league’s vast state-media apparatus doesn’t want you to know. Including: the Leafs’ quest for their first cup in franchise history, how to call the Ottawa Senators Trade-Line without ending up with Bobby Ryan, and why it’s okay to love fighting in hockey, even though everyone knows its fake.

Plus, in an exclusive HockeySport Top5, we finally settle the debate of who are the best Anunnaki Lizard players in the league today. So roll your eyes into the back of your head and relax your bowels, cause we’re doing the thinking now.

Kindly brought to you by our sponsor: Persephone Brewing’s “Hayley Wickenheiser Golden Ale”

#9: Ice Jam: The Phantom Men-Ice

Season 2 Exclusive: The World Premier of ‘Ice Jam’ and the launch of HockeySports’ five film Ice Jam Cinematic Universe: The CineJam. Coming soon to theaters, Jumbotrons and bittorrent sites near you. 

Follow all the action as we kick off Season 2 of the HockeySport Podcast with hard hitting JournalSport stories, including: an in depth, at length discussion about why we’re not discussing Preseason hockey, our exposé of the rampant outbreak of blackmail in the GM community, and we settle once and for all who’s got the most cha-ching clicky-bling bling; Sidney Crosby or Alex Ovechkin. We’re giving you so much HockeySport you’ll be able to hear it calling in the air to night, so hold on.

And stay tuned for this week’s guest, Club 16 co-founder and ClearlyContacts.ca fan, Trevor Linden

Brought to you by our proud sponsor, the all new scent: Hot Black Ice by HockeySport

#8: Protect The Shutout!

The only doctor recommended remedy to sooth the unrelenting swells of existential self-doubt that is the NHL off-season. This episode, we answer the age old question: what happens to a Podcast without facts during of time without news?

Join us as we decide which Karlsson can stay and which Karlsson has to go, who Ovechkin will be presenting the cup to next season, and what is precise weight-bearing capacity of Barry Trotz’s Laurels.

Plus, in our hard-hitting deep dive sections, we track down Patient Zero of the epidemic that is suddenly afflicting the NHL: stacked teams of overpaid sell-outs.  And we premier our three-part series about the misunderstood town of Fuckshit, New Hampshire and their beloved hockey team, the FuckShit Nuggets (brought to you by WNYC).

And for the love of god, let us know if anyone has seen Paul Kariya. We’re really worried.

#7: More Not Wrong Than Ever

It’s our Year-End Spectacular, breaking down the Washington Capitals reality-fissuring victory over a hockeysport world that seemed beyond hope. Has this grim timeline finally been course-corrected or could the league simply be more rigged than ever?!

And don’t touch that dial, because in our first ever HockeySport Morning Show we take a deep dive look into our book of the month, Mike Modano’s ‘Mo NinerNiner’, discuss plans for ‘National Humiliation Day’ and learn where Dan and Steve wouldn’t bring the Stanley Cup.

Plus, the world exclusive debut of Canada’s newest “Heritage Minute’, guaranteed to bring a tear to the eye of any syrup-blooded listener in the hockeysport world

So take a knee with us as we sadly, but somehow gladly, close out the 2017-18 NHL season.

Joined live in studio by special guest: Elias Klinkholm

#6: Hot Black Ice: The Violent Legacy of HockeySport Podcast

After an extended hiatus in the witness protection program, the HockeySport team has been drawn out of hiding by the allure of Stanley's great silver Bowl. Seeing all that's gone wrong in the HockeySport world, the hosts wouldn't take "your former legal identities no longer exist" for an answer.  

Join us for this long awaited deep dive into the stories no one's been asking for, such as: Who's got the best playoff pubes? Will Brad Marchand ever find love? Are the Sedin's twin's pulling a classic bait n’ switch? And who is Elias Klinkholm? Bringing you our first episode tailor made for all our fans out there suffering from synesthesia, anesthesia or just simply on fire.

As always, with your hosts, Cliff Alliford and Mabel Gardiner, living life by the motto: “You can’t drink all day if you don’t start... 100% of the shots you don’t take”. 

With Special Guest: Boston Bruin and single-ready-to-mingle Brad Marchand.

#5: Non-Homogenated I Can’t Believe It’s Not Russia

In this episode, we tackle the biggest unanswered questions in HockeySport history, including: Are all Swedish people secretly twins? Is Jaromir Jagr truly dead? Should the HockeySport Podcast have Moore jokes or less jokes? Why should we care about HockeySport when the sun will eventually envelope the earth and the universe will succumb to heat death in the end anyways?

And as always, write us in, or send us an owl. You’ll get a mug, or be Perma-Zammed.

With Special Guest: to go over the guys’ Olympic roster predictions, Team Canada GM Sean Burke.