The HockeySport Podcast

Tyler, Taylor, Tanner, Brendan, Broden, and Various Train Related Sayings

It’s day 700 in our hermetically sealed underground virus bunker and if anyone have survived out there, spirits are high! We’re getting very close to a cure, or at least time travel, to bring Hockeysport back to you all, and we’re certainly not losing our minds or, you know, flying off the Handle of the Train, off its rails, while thinking outside the Boxcar (as they say). 

This episode we cover everything you’d expect in a post-hockopcalyptic wasteland, including; Brendan-Brayden-Broden Leipsic (whatever his name is), which teams are getting relocated to Quebec city and Atlanta, and which oilers haven’t been to jail (number 6 will shock you).

Plus, our simple plan for how the NHL can still save the season and finally expand to Antarctica for the 16-on-16 death match the fans deserve.

With our special guest, the king of all trophies, and first in our hearts, the Presidents Trophy.

Emergency Broadcast from the HockeySport Virus Bunker

Sound the alarms. Seal air locks. Grab every piece of hockey memorabilia you can carry and get in your Repurposed Lockout Bombshelter. The NHL is cancelled. The Playoffs are cancelled. Any reason to live is cancelled. But the show must go on, COVID or NO-VID.

Join your hosts in the HockeySport Emergency Virus Bunker (patent pending), safely broadcasting from 30 feet below the charred hellscape of the hockey world. The season ended on a cliffhanger, but we’ve got all the answers. Including:

• What do you need in your Virus Bunker to get you through a barren hockey-less future.
• What happened to Joe Thornton’s Last Chance.
• Who’s the most bummed (other than the Oilers obviously)
• And of course, we determine who will win the Stanley Cup.

And stay tuned, cause if we don’t post again in the next couple days, we’ve certainly suffocated.

Salvia Flashbacks with Eichel, Torts and Gritty

You asked for it and we deliver. This is our Annual Columbus Blues Jackets Special! Broadcasting live from the great tumbleweed marshes of Ohio, where the summer's are long and full of freedom.  Dan and Steve, and our guest host Nick Cannon, will dive deep into the history, lore and legends of the NHL’s 28^th most successful franchise.

But that's not all! Featuring habit-forming stories from around a chaotic, narcotic NHL, including:

• Who needs to take a take some salvia and chill and why is it Jack Eichel?
• The Flyers: Still the worst team in NHL History
• How product placement will effect the careers of Pepsi Presents McDavid and Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues Presents Draisaitl
• One incredible Diss-covery that could forever alter the career of Boston Matthews
• The Top 10 Dancing Vids from Jordan Binnington’s TikTok Account
• 23 thing you wish you didn’t know about Latvia
• All the Ohio S**t* *uckeyes ranked

So, load your cannons full of Bees, take a debilitating bong toke and lets break through in the (Daniel Sedin) 22^nd Episode of the HockeySport Podcast.

Kes and OJ vs. Cup-of-noodles and No Dog

We are at WAR! There’s no exaggeration, just brutal armed conflict that threatens to tear up the world’s geo-political order with HockeySport solely to blame. We go across the globe this episode, starting with the World Junior Championship’s role in the Iran-U.S. conflict, jetting to Quebec to expose Ilya Kovalchuk’s plot to install a KHL team in Quebec City and finally to where ever Jim Montgomery is right now.

But have no fear, for the HockeySport world has heroes like Kes, O.J., Cup-of-noodle and even No Dog. And if they fail (which they almost certainly will) and least we’ve got our (corporate sponsor) "Health". 

So sit back, pour a glass of Kale Beet Juice, and unclench your stress away.

Codeword: Pittsburgh Pingu

In the 20^th episode of the HockeySport Podcast, we’re setting an example for the HockeySport world and going coachless. No Coach, no rules, no racism.  That’s our promise for this episode.

Buckle up for a 12 hour bad-mood hate-fest in our Coachless Corner, sponsored by Cherry-Grape Energy Drank. With a bounty of stories to put you in a bad mood, including: “How to make Taylor Hall stay”, “Which Pokemon would be the best HockeySport player”, and “How did the Canucks get so Focht?”

Plus, tweet at @hockeysportpod to enter our “Spell Johnny Goodreaux’s last name” contest to win a brand new New New Jersey Jersey Devils Jersey.

With special bad-mood guests, fellow podcasters Kevin Bieksa and Ryan Kesler

A Bottle of the Finest Zuccarello

Tonight we serve up the perfect pairing to wet your appetite for a new season of HockeySport. With the threat of a Lockpocalypse set aside and our Lock-out bomb shelters emptied, it’s time to treat yourself to a sampling of the finer things from the bounty that is the NHL regular season.

On special today, may we suggest a decanted Marleau, a 6oz of finely aged Zuccarello or perhaps Draisaitl?  Each pair perfectly with our roasted Zibanejad fresh off the Teravainen, with shaved Pekka Rinne.

For dessert, sumptuous Clip-Bait stories that will leave you semi-satisfied like never before, including:

• “How the Egyptians invented hockey by melting sand”,
• “Toronto’s new expansion team, the Toronto Clowns”,
• “Grammy Winner Georges Laraque’s New Single, Feat. Lundqvist”,
• “Trevor Linden: The Beloved Murderer”

So strap yourself into your Blimp-boni, because it’s going to be a wild, delicious ride.

Bradley Susan Marchand, Go To Your Room!

Refreshed and rested after their annual summer hibernation, The HockeySport Team is ready to bring you up to date after an off-season full of selfies in Fiji with Zemgus Girgenson, Brad Marchand in a basket rolling down an Egyptian river, and highlight reel saves by the NHL’s newest star goaltender: Pete Buttigieg. We’re starting off the new year with hard hitting questions, such as: “Was it worth it St. Louis?” and “Did San Jose just disprove the existence of God?”.

Plus, to our soul listener Terland, we’re sure you’ll love our interview with Ryan what’s-his-nuts B-list O'Reilly

AND: Giveaway Alert! Free Canucks Brandings! The first 500 fans to stop by the HockeySport Studios will receive a complimentary NHL Hot Iron Branding on their face, neck or chest.

Two Thousand Pages of Erotic NHL FanFic

It’s the long awaited Series Finale of the NHL, and after a season that makes you wonder “Can’t we just have another lockout already”, we’re excited to see how they tie up all those loose ends. After 102 seasons of cliff hangers and wild fan theories, tonight we at last find out whether anyone can stop the Zombie Chara Mountain, whether Claude Giroux will ever win elected office, and who the hell is Noel Acciari. This and so much more in the finale Episode of NHL hockey ever.

Plus, we’re giving you exactly what you came here for: an endless supply of explicitly detailed erotic Fan Fiction, mostly about San Jose Shark players. Available now for the first time our our new website, HockeyPornPorncast.net.

#16: Spoiler Alert: Binnington is a Diagnosed Psychopath

In an episode that will have you asking yourself: “Should I be mad”, The HockeySport Podcast finally puts the 28 vanquished NHL teams six feet under ground where they belong. A lot has happened in the HockeySport world and I’m sure you’ll agree when we say, “It got weird”.

So listen in and we’ll add to your Hockey vocabulary with new glossary terms such as Probaboolity, Devafenestrated, Shandor Alphonso and the four magic words that will get you through any hockey conversation: “Analytics, Possession, Colton Parayko”.

Plus, watch the host’s slow decent into madness reach its grotesque conclusion as they become that which they hate the most: Bruins Fans.

#15: Hertls All the Way Down

The HockeySport hosts are going through rigorous psychoanalysis after witnessing a spree of fatal chokings around the NHL. Join us for heartfelt eulogies for all the fallen teams, mass-grave-style!

Plus, dive into our subconscious in this playoff special, complete with enough shocking revelations to send you to the therapy penalty box. We’re breaking news about today hottest issues, including Kucherov’s shocking realization that he was adopted, the release of the full, unreacted Kirk Muller Report and Werner Herzog’s bleak window into Johnny Gaudreau’s soul.

Our first ever episode with no questions is sure to give you all the answers.

With special guest, Barclay “Johnny Hockey” Goodrow.