The HockeySport Podcast

Canucks will Five-peat

Join us for our least stressful episode yet! How could you possibly be stressed about the 2021-22 NHL season when you have our assurances that the Canucks will and in some sense already have brought home the Stanley cup.

So Relax.
Don't stress.
Close your eyes.
Breath in, buy out.
Breath in, buy out.

It's all going to work out. The Canucks will win the Cup this year. Give in to the Borg Amalgamation that is the Columbus Blue Jackets. Follow your Captain Phillip Kessel.  Fear not the Con-air Mc-David, who has certainly peaked. Think not of the Lightning, for they have been relegated. Stress not about the Kraken, for they have been moved to Honolulu. The Canuck five-peat starts now. Chant with us:

Oliverekmanlarsson. Oliverekmanlarsson.

Grab a Danish and enjoy our newest episode.

*Sorry, for real this time* Fantasy Playoff Preview - we promise

You ask, we deliver - it’s our Fantasy Playoff Preview!

The number one question we get, (besides where can I buy what you two are smoking?) is “what are your fantasy hockey predictions??

Well hold onto you beards, it’s finally happening. Everything you need to know about the world of Fantasy hockey. And what a strange mythical world it is.

Saddle-up and join us as we go series by series and discuss:

• How will the Avalanche get past Jason Biggington and The Blues?
• What’s the over-under of Marchand-Chara licks per 60?
• Can any amount of trained Panthers stop and back-from-the-dead Kucherov?
• Top 3 films from Sean Avery’s new and thriving porn company.

And to top it off, a breakdown of the North division so in-depth you’ll be frozen solid with ice cold Canadian hockey knowledge. Stay tuned!

Full NHL Playoff Preview All Series

With the playoffs right around the corner, we've got the full rundown of everything you need to know about all the playoff teams.

You heard right, we're not going to talk about the Canucks.

No sir.

We've really branched out.

Full coverage!

We promise.

Okay, maybe a little about the Canucks.

But then it's straight into the team fighting for Lord Stanley's mug!

That's all we care about and we're bringing it right to you.

All eyes on the playoff teams.

Full steam ahead!

Islanders. Wild. Hurricanes.

Yessir. 

We're dying to talk about the #Canes.

Try and stop us! Full playoff coverage or your money back!

Brace yourselves for too much information about the Canes.

You ever heard of Teuvo Teräväinen? Cause we sure have.

You're going to be screaming "please stop saying such interesting things about Teuvo Teräväinen".

But we won't stop.

We're that commited.

You're welcome.

 

But first up Canucks vs. Flames

Post Trade Deadline Belated Birthday Bash

Breaking down all your favourite traitors, it's our trade deadline, totally-not-belated special. And we can guarantee this year's tradepocalypse deadline special has %50 less trades and %50 more %50 retained salaries!

Join us as we finally determine which team found that crucial missing piece on their way to Stanley Cup glory. Could it be:

• Anthony Mantha to the Florida Manthers
• Erik Good-trade-son showing that he can still bring that 7th round magic
• Adam Gaudette giving everyone BC Bud lover plenty of reasons to get highmore
• San Jose poised to bring the cup the Cayman Islands for the first time
• and the Toronto Maple Leafs falling horribly short in the coveted Ben-Hutton-sweep-stakes

They tell us every year that this is the trade deadline, and yet every year, here we are. Now pray to god with us that this is our last trade deadline episode. For Gaudette's sake. End it.

Shut it Down!

For the first time ever, we are broadcasting live during both the Canucks’ offseason and the trade deadline.  Every Canucks fans’ two favourite times of year happening at once! And just because it’s been a busy deadline with rumours flying everywhere doesn’t mean we’re not going shut everything the fuck down.

We’re covering all the biggest stories on Canada’s 3^rd favourite holiday, the trade deadline. Stay tuned for hard hitting stories, such as:

• The Flames core-swap and stylish new toupee
• Why does Taylor Hall like losing so much?
• The Leafs seeking their team's first ever Stanley Cup
• Waves of uncontrollable panic
• The return of the 2011 Canucks

And a friendly reminder that the Canucks are done. The Franchise is over. The league is going to fold. Nothing matters. Enjoy the episode!

Jake's ALWAYS been here

With rampant crime at an all-time high in the NHL, the HockeySport Podcast is the long hard slew-foot of the law this league desperately needs. Join us as we bring the biggest criminals in the NHL to justice, busting wide open huge cases including:

• The Binnington Attempted Murders
• The Sutter Gene Cloning Scandal
• The Sidney Crosby Ponzi Scheme
• The Numerous bizarre criminal acts of the Florida Men on the Panthers and Lightning
• The Blackhawks Breaking and Entering the Playoff Race
• The Buffalo Sabres missing person case

It’s our crime … and subsequent possible punishment special!

And as always, Jake Virtanen! Because he’s ALWAYS been here.  And, as you know, all work and no play makes Jake an untradable apparition doomed to haunt the Canucks for eternity.

Messier for GM

Wait! Wait! Don’t unsubscribe! Hear us out. We may just be the Canucks last hope.

Join us in the latest episode of the HockeySport Podcast as we go full villain in a last ditch effort to restore balance in the HockeySport universe.

Heroically broadcasting amidst devastating Canuck disappointment and autocratic assassination attempts, the HockeySport Hosts are back to discuss the most contentious NHL season in recorded history. Get up to date in the world of HockeySport with these daring acts of JournalSport, including:

• Which dictator’s kill lists are we on now
• Adding up Jake Virtanen’s No. 5 Orange bar tab
• Reviewing Vancouver's newest radio station: 1040 Traffic
• The best hockey inspired dishes to serve at the parties you better not be having right now
• Completely skipping over the Laine-Dubois trade
• More rehashing of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final
• The Seattle Kraken’s Leaked New Mascot: “Big Red Salmon the Big Red Salmon”

All this, and maybe one or two other good segments, but even that’s generous, let’s be honest.

The Dupont Chemicals™ HockeySport Podcast

Welcome to the new and improved Dupont Chemicals™ HockeySport Podcast, presented by our benevolent sponsor Dupont Chemicals™. All the insightful and groundbreaking hockey coverage, now pest and weed resistant!

Broadcasting from a remote undisclosed location in the New Scotia North™ Division, the HockeySport team is back for Season 4 of our medical mal-practice award winning series.

Join Dan and Steve as the voyage into the strange and unknown world of Pandemic Regular Season Hockey, diving into the most unsterilized stories gripping the hockeysport world, including:

• What’s in Evander Kane’s taxes?
• Which Canadian Team’s roster will ascend to political office by the end of the season?
• Why is Buffalo taking a year off and setting up a home dartboard?
• How does Joe Thornton even wear a mask?

Plus, say hello to this week’s guest, Dallas Star Captain Jamie Benn.

“Travellin Around Spreadin It”: The HockeySport 2021 Season Teaser

The HockeySport Podcast is back.

We took a hiatus for much of 2020, which we spent, you guessed it, travelling the world spreading the love of hockey! But now we're back by popular demand (of the ministry of health of Bolivia) and ready hit the 2021 NHL season like a 104° fever.

In this exclusive teaser episode, hosts Dan and Steve send the year 2020 into the shallow unmarked grave that it deserves. Join them as they explain why exactly 2020 sucked for every single team (except The Sabres for obvious reasons).

We'll cover all of the hottest issues in the world of Hockey, including:

• Are the Flames the new 2015 Canucks?
• Now that the Bruins are done, will they relocate?
• Is it possible to have sympathy for the Blackhawks?
• Do we have to pay attention to the 3 other NHL divisions?
• Will Vegas ever recover from their P.T.S.Demko?

And remember, this is just a teaser.  So get ready to be teased, you noodle-armed little weiner-mobile.

Quinn Hughes in Headgear and a Sleep Apnea mask

Are we dead? Is this heaven? 

Well it can’t be heaven because the Bruins are here, but we’ll take it. It’s time for the first ever Summer-Playoff-Pandemic-Bubble HockeySport Podcast. Who else is down to do this every year? 

Join the HockeySport Hosts on a Wild journey through the Playoffifying rounds. We can guarantee all our predictions for the qualifying rounds will (and have already) come true or your money back.

So sit back in your isolated, hermetically sealed hockey bubbles because we’re hot on the trail of the stories that matter to you, such as:

• What type of poison does Matthew Tkachuk use on his skate blades?
• Which of Matt Duchene's many curses is most evil? 
• Who did Tim Horton have to kill to get to the top?
• Does Quinn Hughes have braces?
• What can’t Chris Tanev break with his one remaining tooth?
• And… are we still talking about milk?

And don’t forget to enter our contest to win a sarcastic pre-recorded shout out, cause you're soooo greeaaaaat and you toooootally deserve it.